March 28th, 2007

asex and the city

Since I realized that I'm not really into any type of romantic/sexual intimacy, I also gradually started feeling liberated from the all-encompassing yet often covert social pressure to look/behave in a way that, fitting your gender stereotype, helps you attract a mate.

The thing is, once you realize the underlying, original purpose of gender conventions, things like having long hair, painted toenails, or wearing heels start looking rather silly. I look at my old lipsticks and think to myself "Now WHY on earth would I want to put that on my face? It's gooey, it doesn't taste well, it smears off easily, sometimes halfway across your whole face as well, you have to remember not to touch or bite your lips when you're wearing it, you have to re-apply it every hour or so anyway... And all this just to advertize that I'm a young, healthy, and fertile female? Surely there's a better use for all this time and effort?"

My giving up on such things was not only triggered by their triviality, but also to avoid the wrong signals they might send to other people. I'm not trying with all my might to look like a girl, because the fact that I happen to be a girl is completely irrelevant to me in my life. I'm not looking for a guy, so I don't have to emphasize my girly qualities to attract one. I'm just me. I don't wear high heels, they're uncomfortable and very bad for your feet. I don't wear make-up, it's uncomfortable and expensive. But I do wear perfume, because its fragrance makes me feel like summer.

Of course, one could always argue that one's wearing those sky-high heels purely in the name of abstract elegance, but I'd still question the origins of such perception of elegance...

What's your opinion on this? Does asexuality makes you less prone to over-stating your gender through the usual means employed in our society, like fashion? What about behavior? Do you feel less pressure to "act like a girl" or "act like a man"?
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